Hong Kong Blog

The movie Groundhog Day and my life are so remarkably similar that I’ve genuinely begun to consider the possibility that I may actually be Bill Murray. Every day I wake up at 06:03 AM. I spend ten minutes in the shower, seven of which are spent trying to adjust it to the right temperature and three of which are spent either in freezing cold or scalding hot water. Quick check of the email, get dressed, brush teeth, put on makeup, head out the door. Have the same conver — yes, putting on makeup was a joke. Have the same conversation with Lam the security guard:

Lam: ‘Wai… hello!!’
Lam: ‘Nei ho ma?’
Me: ‘Alright mate.. ho ho!!’
Me: ‘Nei ho ma?’
Lam: ‘Ho ho!’
Me: ‘Bye, bye!’
Lam: ‘Bye bye!’

Leave the hall of residence, switch on ipod, bump into the fairly elderly people practising tai chi. Tai chi with swords. Walk to Festival Walk (how fitting), head down to the MTR station, get on the same train at 07:03, on the same carriage with the same beautiful ‘MTR girl’ who has evidently memorised my schedule. That she is and always was on the train before me is beside the point. I arrive at work at 07:28, read my email, do IPE & LIFFEF testing orders, confirm colour of the day, ask the desk for breakfast orders and get ‘sup bui chaan jup’, ‘sei gor door si’ and ‘look lung siu mai’ from the basement. In the lift on the way up I make the same joke every morning as members of staff look at the amount food falling out my arms, ‘yeah…’ ‘I’m hungry today’. Talk to Trowbridge, re-run SOD… it’s all become so strikingly similar to the experience of Bill Murray that every time I receive a phone call at work, I imagine it’s in response to a cry of “WHO you gonna’ call?!”. I even have a friend I speak to every day at HSBC called Rita, who you’ll remember is the name of the female lead in Groundhog Day.

However in recently weeks things have begun to change. And though change and variety are said to be ‘the spice of life’, I’ve actually found them to be bit of an inconvenience to be honest. Cuz bustin’ made me feel good…

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Hoowdie Ho peoples. This is Heaney boy with the latest and greatest from the city that never sleeps. The last month has been a rollercoaster ride to be honest, between coming back from Thailand and having my family arrive within the next 2 days all the way to them departing and the two craziest guys on this earth coming to visit me from England

Well hello boys and girls. This is Heaney boy reporting for duty. So the last couple of week’s events have been fruitful. I have been sorting out a trip to Thailand with my boy Alan in Easter which is going to be without a doubt bloody amazing. Just after that I have my mom, pops and family in tow coming my way to grace me with their company. Also my mates are coming over for a month after the family leave which should be a great laugh, although I don’t think any of the above is going to help me those impending exams passed :-/

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That my return to writing the blog coincides with the end of the writer’s strike in America would surely be more than mere coincidence but for the fact that I’m neither in America, writing television nor on strike. In recent interviews John Sullivan, creator of ‘Only Fools and Horses’ has said that he created the show’s story arcs largely based on his own youth and anyone who has seen ‘24’ must obviously conclude that the same is true with Kiefer Sutherland. Indeed, at times it seems that nothing can be scripted more perfectly than life…

In late October one of the members of my team returned from a two week vacation in Canada along with the news that he’d be permanently relocating to Toronto for reasons that could easily justify a season of Dawson’s Creek alone. One of the major cinematic devices regularly employed for character development is circumstances that push the character beyond their limit, force them to deal with situations that s/he is not prepared for. Whether I was called into a meeting by my manager or a team of writers will probably never be known, but either way the result was that I would be taking over all of my team mate’s responsibilities. And I had a month to learn. Absolutely everything.

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Neih hou as we say over here in Hong Kong. So it has been a couple of weeks since my last blog and I decided to get on top of things sooner rather than later, that way I avoid rabbeting on like a jabbering coke fuelled buffoon.

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Howdie Dodie people. Long time no blog. I work hard at my job between Mondays to Fridays, which means I have very little free time in which I can try to change the world. Saturday morning I dedicate 2 hours of my morning to help poor people build mud huts in the poorer districts of HK. I love poor people. By lunch time I am pretty exhausted, but this isn’t about me, it’s about what is right for humanity. That’s right, I then go back to work again where I help blind people read Braille. On Sundays I give up my evening in order to attend homes where owners are having problems with their pets. Ever since my birth parents abandoned me on the outskirts of a southeast asian tropical rainforest, I have been able to communicate with animals since my foster parents were both vowls! Obviously my services are not for sale, I do it as a term of service owed to a once great and thriving country. So now hopefully you see why I have been unable to detail the events I have undertook the last couple of months.

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I finally got round to it. Hello and welcome my dearly beloved as my old headmaster used to say. I have been inundated with work the last few weeks and any stolen moments that I happen to find myself twiddling my thumbs I have decided to keep that way. This is due to the fact that I have seen enough of computers to last me a lifetime. I eat, sleep and drink computers, which I might add has been playing havoc with my digestive track. So it must be around 3 weeks or not far off since my last post. As you would expect from Hong Kong lots has happened but I will just fill you in with the vitals.

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 After reading Richs last blog I like the idea of refering to the family as a team. Thus I have adopted the idea and hence forth the arrival of The A-Team. Clockwise from top starring: Dessie as Murdock, Sammy Jo as B. A. Baracus, Mother as Hannibal and Brendan as Faceman.

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Starring…

Richard Cohen ……… as…… himself

Guest starring…

Ivor Cohen ……………as……… Dad
Joanne Cohen …………as………Mum
Sophie Cohen …………as………Soph
Steven Cohen …………as ………Steve

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          It been a while, I know. A lot has been going on these last few weeks. I had my girlfriend over for 11 days and the time is soon nearing when I will see my beloved family, minus my father who is a bludclot for not daring the 12hr flight over here (only messing bludclot dad ) Anyway I have had an action packed fortnight to say the very least. I have shown Michelle everywhere and anywhere that this lovely country has to offer. It is here that I must also put a special mention out to my hospitable friends, for were it not for there help I probably would have struggled to show Mickey the true Hong Kong.

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